Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
