I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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