if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Rumble strips road head = magical
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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