it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
