the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize