i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize