i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
