I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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