He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
