Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
