is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
