She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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