This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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