once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
