Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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