You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
