Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize