That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
