I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
