We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
