SEEEEXXX PLEASE
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
