Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
