whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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