marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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