please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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