He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize