Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
