you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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