I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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