Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
