We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
