wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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