I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
