4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just invented taco cereal.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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