People in love make me want to vomit
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
