I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
