Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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