i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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