just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
