D3 body, D1 cock
Nicole vs. Life
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
