Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
