We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
birth control should be required to get into college
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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