I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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