2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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