Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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