Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
