other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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