Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
