billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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