And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
