But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
