So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need to calm my uterus...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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