Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
