whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
