it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
