WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
