A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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