found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
