im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
