Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
