when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize