The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
