You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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