I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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