I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
