Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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