sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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