bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
