I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
